I’m not one to plead for a sequel to be created, in fact I tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to sequels. Most of the time they usually give the player more of the same and rake in buckets of cash for the developers and publishers, they lack originality, unsurprisingly. I’ve found this with the opening hour of BioShock 2, while it’s still fantastic to play and Rapture is as wonderful as ever, it lacks what made the first game so great, the originality.

There is one game that I would love to see a sequel for, one that I’ve been playing again over the last few nights, Black by Criterion.

A shooter based on delivering a movie like experience, Black was an action packed game that delivered shooting unlike anyone else at the time. Black was, in my opinion a superb game that reveled in the bullets more than the story. Even playing now, in the “next gen” age, Black still plays very well. Whilst visually unappealing now, the sound still makes a huge impact on the way the game plays. With the “choir of guns” concept helping to stop Black sounding like a noise of gunfire, making it kinder to the ears whilst still achieving the sound of war.

Whilst it was mentioned back in 2008 that a job post was opened for a sequel and then taken down, with Criterion stating that they won’t make a sequel, I wish this would be announced. With everything that the studio achieved with Burnout Paradise, I think an HD version of Black would be superb.

I’m looking forward to playing more later tonight and enjoying that relentless carnage again. Next on the list to replay is XIII and I’m REALLY looking forward to that one.

Today is a very sombre day in my house and for my family. Today sees the three year anniversary of my eldest daughter passing away. Quite obviously this means that todays one a day blog post will reflect that, I’m writing this more for myself so I won’t mind if you walk on by and I’ll see you again tomorrow.

So, as a parent I’ve had three daughters. No son at all, this doesn’t really bother me at all, I love my girls with all my heart. There are certain things I’ve learnt being a dad too three girls, I thought I would share them with you:

• As a Father to your first daughter, you will need to ask how to change a nappy, but you instinctively know how to put a pair of tights on them.
• Never wipe upwards.
• You’ll learn all the names of the characters in Fifi and the Flowertots and yearn to talk about Pokemon instead.
• Whether you have long hair, or even any hair, you’ll know how to tie a ponytail in double time.
• After watching Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses for the 56th time, you’ll find yourself quoting the characters.
• After trying to introduce them to Star Wars, they will stand up halfway through and remind you that it’s for boys and demand to watch Tinkerbell instead.
• After an hour of Tinkerbell, you’ll realise you’re the only one in the room watching it, as your kids have wandered off.

My kids are still young and fun at the moment, but you know they will get older. You’ll lie awake at night thinking the following:

• You hope they learn plenty from you and learn to love reading, how else will you keep them from the strip clubs.
• You dream up ways to scare off innocent boyfriends whose shoes you were once in, a personal favourite of mine is “overprotective catholic extremist” that should be fun.
• You’ll wonder how long, on work days, that you’ll sit outside the bathroom waiting for your turn.
• You’ll realise, if like me you have several daughters, how many weddings you will need to pay for and as that thought sinks in you will wonder what is easier, finding the money and being broke or robbing a bank and dealing with the sentence.
• You know that one day, when they’re all older you’ll be the dried out husk in the corner of the room, no one noticing as you put your socks on your hands again as they all talk about lipstick and boys.

If I’ve forgotten anything, please feel free to comment and let me know, that way I can find the right time to start weeping for the loss of my masculinity.

Decisions are a hard part of life. There are times in life where we have to make mundane decisions, what to have for dinner, do I renew my car insurance? There are times when things become a little more important, do I apply for that job?shall I propose to her? Then there are those decisions that live with you for the rest of your life.

I made one of those latter decisions, three years ago this coming Monday, I made a decision that changed who I am and I will never regret it. I made a decision that nobody would want to make, I made it on my own and I made it, for the best. I made a decision that rocked my very soul and although I think of it every day, I never feel bad about it.

Make your decisions for the best and never look back, never regret them.

Some of you may remember a while back I had a little rant about Nintendo, I also stated that I hated the Wii but finished by saying that I wanted one again. Well,

Don’t look at me like that, this one wasn’t my idea. Well, not fully anyway. Today is the wife’s birthday and she expressed an interest in playing some games, saying she missed owning a Wii (for those keeping score, this is our third, your welcome Iwata) so the conversation started and I admittedly expressed an interest as there are a few games vying for my attention. Our big daughter has also recently starting gaming on a DS and on the PC, so this is a natural progression I suppose. So there it is, all shiny and new.

We bought it with Mario Kart and Smash Bros, the latter I traded straight in and got Okami instead seeing as I’ve never played it and Smash Bros is trash. It of course cam with Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort, along with MotionPlus. I’m quite pleased to have it, I’ve already had a blast on Resort and it’s still great fun and I’m looking forward to playing Okami tonight.

I suppose that’s this update done, I’m a gullible sap and will buy anything related to videogames, many times over it seems.

…..and everyone else now, my desk (area)

In front of me on an oak effect laminate worksation is:

A 19″ monitor where I am currently typing this, but with the press of a button on the remote I can be playing my 360 or the debug 360.

On the left of the monitor is an intempo iPod speaker shaped like a bowling ball. Connected to this are the sound cables for my PC and 360. In front of the speaker is a miniature Stitch from Disney’s Lilo and Stitch(given to me by my daughter) and in front of that, a set of Turtle Beach X1’s ready for online 360 gaming.

On the right, a ball bearing rain maker that I’ve had since I was 14 and a figure of Edward from Alone in the Dark. Next to them, my Samsung mobile phone and a notepad with hastily scribbled notes about Dante’s Inferno. Sitting on top of the desk, in front of the monitor, in a lacklustre fashion is: The remote for the monitor, a 360 controller, a cola flavour chupa chups lollipop, oh and some toast (thanks wifey!).

Under the desk is my new PC, I’d love to say it’s built from the ground up, but it’s not and I’d be lying. Next to that is my 360, with 60gb HDD and my debug 360 with 120gb HDD.

My setup carries on to the right, between my desk and a TV unit is my GH5 guitar and DJ Hero deck, then onto the TV unit. On top from left to right, is: A Sackboy, then our BT phone (dusty) a 32” HD TV, a BT homehub (also dusty). NOTE – on top of the TV are a Stitch and Mickey mouse dressed as Emperor Palpatine and Luke Skywalker (shit yeah!)

Under the unit are some drawers, one is broken – it has nothing in. The others, Argos book and general gaming stuff. Next to the drawers are a PS3 (dusty except for the power button and eject button) a small DVD player and our Sky+ HD box.

If I look to the right I can see a family, they are mine too. If I look to the left there is a very hot radiator that I regularly burn my arm on and above that, a window. It’s overcast and there is a tree outside with no leaves on (still winter).

As a child I was always fascinated by art, it has been a love of mine ever since. I enjoy dissecting each piece and working my way through the artists work to see what they were trying to achieve or convey at the time. As I was growing through school age, I never really liked school too much, avoiding learning wherever possible despite my love of learning something new, perhaps it was the teachers? I’m inspired by Rhiarti’s latest one a day post to write this, my passion for Starry Night by Van Gogh.

I owe quite a lot to my Secondary school art teacher, more than she knows. When I was a fresh faced 11 year old looking towards my first year of high school with trepidation, Miss Thompson was just starting her teaching career at the same time. She became my form tutor that year and my art teacher. In fact she stayed as both until the day I left school and started 6th Form College, where she became my tutor in my Art studies there. She was young, very cool and all the kids loved her as she was laid back. Bit of a late in life hippy you could say, but she was great and she introduced me to some of the best art in the world.

When were were tasked with finding our favourite paintings for an art project, the internet was non existent to me, so a trudge to the school library was a must. As I sat there browsing beautiful artwork of religious scenes, watercolours of countryside and cubism works of wonder only one picture jumped out and grabbed me, The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh.

After all these years since finding this work, it still captivates me. I’ve always wanted to see the original but it has been housed in new York since 1941, but even looking at reproductions and prints you can see the beauty of it.

My fascination with this piece lies in the village rather than the stars themselves, although the stars are lovely. It’s said that no matter who you are you can look at a painting and create your own story with what you see in the frame, seeing as that’s what a painting is, a snapshot of time or the mind. My “story” for this picture is that the villagers below sleep peacefully in their beds or moving from instance to instance in life, that, much like modern day people, forget to look upon the sky. Stars are generally awe inspiring anyway, looking up at the sky on a clear night is breathtaking, full of curiosity. It’s my belief that that’s what grabbed the attention of a young boy in school all that time ago. The fact that theres something greater than us out there.

In my opinion, if anyone else other than Van Gogh had painted this piece it wouldn’t have any of the charm that Vincent put into his work. The stars look great because of the art style used. With many paintings your eye is drawn to one part of it and holds your gaze, but the flowing, swirling colours keep your eyes drifting around the painting, seeing new things every time. Personally I’ve never quite grasped what the dark feature is on the left, according to scholars, it’s open to interpretation and down to the viewer to picture what it could be. As a kid I always thought it was the castle of a dominating figure, a dictator of some sorts and the village below would be within his grasp. But he couldn’t capture the stars.

One day I will go to New York and see the painting in living colour, I hope to fall in love with it all over again.

So, I was going to have a massive rant on here today. Something annoyed me this morning and I felt like venting it to the world, however I received an email that put me in a great mood and no longer really feel the need to rant. Never fear though, it doesn’t take much to piss me off, there’s plenty of time yet.

So as I pondered what to write about tonight I threw on iTunes and danced the hoover around the living room to be helpful and it struck me, my love of Meatloaf must be announced.

When I was a kid I learned about music through my Mum, she adored music and particularly Motown, but she had a little bit of a rocker hidden inside and that was where I found my love of meatloaf. At a tender age, Meat was just about dancing around manically and singing all of the lyrics incorrectly, but as I grew up I loved him for more than that.

Bat out of hell is the album of choice, of course it is.

Jim Steinman, the lyricist for Bat out of Hell is nothing short of a genius and this can be seen in the style of the songs he writes. While on the face of things Meatloaf’s epic title track is a rock anthem, but when you listen to the lyrics and learn more about the process that Jim was trying to achieve it becomes much more.  A song about a young man racing his motorbike to his death, Steinman was fascinated by car crash songs and this was his masterpiece version. The song moves from speeding down highways faster than any boy has ever gone to lying in a pit after the crash and watching himself fade from existence. Steinman originally found Meatloaf when he saw the overweight singer on stage, instantly falling in love with his voice and passion. Jim goes on record saying that this album is an ode to broadway shows and it’s clearly heard in each track. Every song on Bat out of Hell could easily be sung on stage in the West End of London.

The main theme of the album was Steinmans loves in his life, predominantly, fast cars and faster women. The latter is approached on the tracks, “You took the words right out of my mouth”, “Two out of three ain’t bad” and “Paradise by the dashboard light”. Each of these songs deals with not wanting to express love but to achieve the ultimate goal of sex regardlessly. Although this is quite a controversial point of view, it happened often in young America and everything is sung with a tongue in cheek slant. Just look at the chorus from “Two outta three”:

I want you,
I need you,
But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you,
Now don’t be sad,
Cause two out of three ain’t bad,
Don’t be sad,
Cause two out of three ain’t bad.

When these words fall from an innocent looking chubby guy, it’s easy to forgive the content. Basically what we’re hearing here is that Meat is never going to love a girl who is quite obviously infatuated with him and this is his way of telling her. He wants her as he needs the company, he needs her for companionship and sex, but he will never tie himself down. Pretty much what goes through any young man’s head. This theme is again brought up in “Paradise by the dashboard light”

A song about parking in the wilderness to try to have sex with is girlfriend. A girl that wants so badly to make love to this man who she adores, but when all he wants is a quickie in the car she delivers an ultimatum:

Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further –!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?

Despite his pleading that she waits for him to sleep on his decision as to whether he loves her or whether he just wants sex, she persists and he gives in:

I started swearing to my God and on my mother’s grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I’m praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don’t think that I can really survive
I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I’m praying for the end of time
It’s all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!!!

He said it, he loves her, until the end of time. All a lie, let time end so he doesn’t need to be with this woman anymore, all he wanted was sex. This could easily be taken badly by the public, but with a sound that could easily be at home in a theatre and the humour oozing through the speakers, you can’t be offended. The entire album has writing that brings a smile to my face, all accompanied by wonderful and powerful arrangement that still sends chills up my neck and makes me want to dance. It of course helps that Meat is just an everyday guy, he was never a “heart throb”, he looks like an everyday man that can be seen in the streets, which makes him all the more endearing.

Besides, I can’t be wrong, the album stayed in the UK charts for 474 weeks after release and selling over 40 million copies worldwide, everyone loves Meatloaf, even you.

That’s what it has been today, a shit day.

Nothing exciting happened, I had writers block (and still do) all day whilst trying to write my Mass Effect 2 review. I know what I want to say, but I can’t articulate it. I know every emotion that I want convey, but can’t put them into words. I hope I’m just having an off day today and can jump back on tomorrow as I have a busy week.

I don’t even have the motivation to write here so this is all you’re getting for now.

Kisses.

So, next Wednesday sees the start of a very tough five days for myself and my family. Three years ago on the 3rd February my then girlfriend (now wife) and her parents, were travelling back from a day out at a park with my three year old daughter when they were involved in a car accident. This accident started the five worst days in my life. My wife’s Father passed away at the scene of the accident and everyone in the car was badly knocked around. This included my Daughter who was behind the drivers seat (it was a side impact crash, drivers side). The accident saw my daughter admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital with severe brain damage and on 8th February she passed away.

This time spanned five long days of blood transfusions, two operations, ECG tests, being separated from my wife while she lay pregnant with our second daughter in the hospital 50 miles away and the 5th day of the month even saw my wife “celebrate” her birthday on a hospital ward. Perhaps more on this next week, as one a day will see me with a lot on my mind.

These events can break even the strongest of people and there are few people, thankfully, in the world that know how the loss of a child can break your heart. Everything during this time, eventually made me a stronger person, but it took every ounce of emotion and feeling from me, crushing every each dream and iota of happiness in its tracks. At a few points, I didn’t really want to carry on with life, why would you when it can be so cruel?

But then something happened and I started to believe that things would be alright. My wife and I had to stay at my mother in laws as we didn’t want to go home and as her Mum had lost her husband we stuck together as a family. I’d asked relatives to bring over my 360 and games, hoping to bury myself in gaming, particularly whilst arranging the funerals. And then Crackdown came out.

I trudged down to our local GAME store, picked up Crackdown and carried on home. I fell in love with Pacific City, the sights, the sounds, the challenge. Playing Crackdown became a therapy for me, all control had been stripped from my life and Crackdown gave back a sense of this control. Hunting for agility orbs became a medicine, putting all of my thoughts into how I would find them all. Videogames, saved my life.

I’ve explored this concept twice in my writing, the first was a personal exploration as to why I play videogames. Writing this piece was cathartic, it allowed me to explore the notion that videogames are incredibly helpful for people, not just in terms of dealing with grief and loss, but even confidence issues and learning. I then recently delved further into this subject with some journalist friends of mine, with, The Great Escape. This second piece is a monster of text that gives examples of specific people and how they’ve dealt with troubles in their past by using videogames as an escape.

I wanted to show that everyone goes through times in their life when things are hard, be it due to a bereavement or being bullied at school. There is always something to help you escape and reorganise your mind. The Great Escape feature features some good friends, Jennifer Allen, Sinan Kubba, Christos Reid, Sam Giddings and Andy Kelly, all of whom either gave an account of their past or their opinion on the topic.

Both of these pieces have helped to organise my thoughts on everything and air things from my mind. The escapism series will be finished off shortly with a third part (everything needs to be a trilogy nowadays, eh!?) and then I hope to explore something slightly different. A big thank you to those who took part in the last piece and I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.